To All The Different Kinds of Fathers, Dads, Papas, Padres and the like… Remember you are loved and appreciated… As are your cringe-worthy but always enjoyable jokes! 🙂


Dad: What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue?

Child: I don’t know

Dad: You can tuna a piano but you can’t piano a tuna.

Child: What about the glue?

Dad: I knew you’d get stuck there



Dad: I don’t trust those trees son.

Son: What? Why Not?

Dad: They seem shady.




Guardians of the Galaxy



A lumberjack went into a magical forest to cut a tree.  Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree when the tree shouted “Wait! I am a talking tree!”

The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue!”



Child: What are the lion and witch doing in your wardrobe!?

Dad: It’s Narnia business!



A big cat escaped from the zoon yesterday.  If I come across it I will Puma Pants!



modern family




I got fired from my job at the bank today. 

A woman asked me to check her balance… So I pushed her over.


The other day I bought a thesaurus but when I got home and opened it all the pages were blank. 

I have NO WORDS to describe how angry I am!


I was on the toilet and late for work. 

I thought to myself “ I don’t have time for this crap!”


My dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend. 

He said, “You know, you could do better.” 

I said, “ Thanks dad, that means a lot to me.” 

He replied, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”


My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books. 

He’s only got his shelf to blame.



Father's Day



How do you wake up Lady Gaga? 

You poker face!


Where Does a dog go when he loses his tail? 

A retail store


Why is there no gambling in the zoo? 

Too many Cheetahs!


Whenever someone goes to the bathroom my dad says, “mention my name… you’ll get a good seat!”



Cheers to all the Dad’s and their jokes this Father’s Day!!!  You Are LOVED!!! 


Packing With Adams 
Packing a Mobox

-Shanda Sawyer